This is The Cabbage Patch, which I found in The First Theodore R. Cogswell MEGAPACK ®: 16 Classic Science Fiction Stories. You can read it on the Internet Archive here as part of a Fantasy and Science Fiction magazine. As for where you read it, you can check ISFDBISFDB for publications where it appeared.
However, when her older female relatives realise she's been with him they get her alone and ask if, at any time, her stinger had felt funny.
Here's this part:
Once Aunt Hester caught me alone with [the year-father] and her face got all hard and twisted and she was going to call the patrol and have him beaten, but Mother came in just then. She sent the year-father to his room and then took me into the parlor. I knew that she was getting ready for one of her heart-to-heart talks but there wasn’t anything I could do about it, so I just sat there and listened. Mother’s talks always got so wound in on themselves that when she was through I usually couldn’t figure out what all the fuss had been about.
First she asked me if I’d felt anything funny when I was alone with the year-father. I asked her what she meant by “funny” and she sort of stuttered and her face got all red. Finally she asked me a funny question about my stinger and I said “no,” Then she started to tell me a story about the wasps and the meem but she didn’t get very far with that either. She wanted to but she got all flustered and her tongue wouldn’t work. Aunt Hester said nonsense, that I was still a little girl and next year would be soon enough. Mother said she wished she could be sure, then she made me promise that if ever my stinger felt funny when I was around a year-father. I’d run and tell her about it right away because if I didn’t, something terrible might happen.