Many years ago I read a book, possibly one of a series. I read it in the early 90's so it may have been from that period or the 80's. I remember several details, but can't recall title or author. Title may have been something like Xenophobe or Xenophile or some form thereof. Not Xenocide from the Ender series. That plot doesn't sound familiar.
Details:
Genre is probably Military Sci-fi
Humanity is fighting an alien race trying to kill us.
Humans all have "jacks" built into their skulls which allows them to "jack into" whatever machinery or technology they want to control. For instance, the protagonist is applying for a job and for the interview he jacks into a phone booth, goes to a virtual store, buys a virtual suit to attend his virtual interview.
The military uses large robotech style robots that are controlled by the pilot through virtual reality via the jacks in your skull. Same thing with load lifters or any other machinery. They also have nanotechnology that provides adaptive camouflage.
I seem to recall the robot pilots referring to infantry as crunchies, due to the sound they make when they get stepped on by the robots.
I have googled as many different ways as I can think of and can't find anything. Guessing it was not very popular.