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I work for a large government organization. My boss is a total jerk who abuses those working under him. I've tried contacting HR before but they won't do anything about him.

Anyways, I screwed up again. My jerk boss is going to be super pissed.

I came out of hyperspace too close to some stupid planet and the rebels were able to detect us. It's not a big deal really but he'll make a big thing about it like he always does when something isn't his fault. If it were his f- up, he would say something like 'I meant to do that' or 'It went exactly as I had foreseen it' — yeah right.

I'm going to try to play it off like I wanted to come out of hyperspace too close — maybe like I wanted to in order to surprise them.

Anyways, I'm thinking he might choke me out for this one.

Would faking my death fool him into stop Force-choking me to death or would he know that I'm not dead yet?

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    Let me know if this should be migrated to The Workplace. – Hannover Fist Sep 14 '15 at 17:43
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    Of course, this was covered in the Death Star orientation meeting: youtube.com/watch?v=0jdQqjcsfC8 – onewho Sep 14 '15 at 17:53
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    Related: workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/54377/… – corsiKa Sep 16 '15 at 1:12
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    (Minor Star Wars Episode 7 Spoilers ahead:) Well, just do like the stormtroopers that passed by when Kylo Ren found out about the Holding Cell being empty: Turn around and GTFO xD – Oak Dec 30 '15 at 19:33
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    It's not a force choke! It's a throat hug. – K Dog Oct 31 '16 at 16:55
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In a word, no.

  • Your boss will almost certainly use his force-powers to crush your windpipe. You won't be able to pretend to be dying because you'll be too busy actually dying.

  • Your boss has the ability to sense life, dude. It's reasonably certain that he can tell whether you're alive or dead:

    Her voice faded, and her hand dropped away. Obi-Wan felt the life leave her.
    SW: Revenge of the Sith - Junior Novelisation

  • Your subordinate just watched you being choked to death and did absolutely nothing about it. Think about it. In the very unlikely event that you somehow survive, do you genuinely think he's going to let you leave that ship and risk your boss finding out? Hell no.

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    Darth Vader didn't use his powers to crush the windpipe of Admiral Motti, whose lack of faith he found disturbing--he choked him for a bit, then stopped when Moff Tarkin said "Enough of this. Vader, release him!", at which point Motti was able to breath again, indicating no permanent destruction of his windpipe. Additionally, even when he did kill people by force choke it seems unlikely to me that he physically crushed their windpipe, wouldn't this sort of destruction of tissue cause blood to come out of their mouths? – Hypnosifl Sep 16 '15 at 23:24
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    @Hypnosifl - I thought the implication was that he squeezed Motti's windpipe (for effect) but never intended to kill him. It was a demonstration of his power. – Valorum Sep 16 '15 at 23:29
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    ...I guess the relevant question here is whether there's anything in the current canon (or in the old EU) to settle the issue of whether force choking someone to death involves permanently crushing their windpipe or just squeezing it until they die a la strangulation. – Hypnosifl Sep 17 '15 at 0:02
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    Also he couldn't tell whether Padme was alive or dead after he Force choked her. Disputed, that point is. – Josh Schwarzzeskywalker Jan 18 '16 at 19:05
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    @JoshSchwarzzeskywalker - He was aware that she was alive and was highly suprised to find (later) that she was dead. – Valorum Jan 18 '16 at 19:20
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I'm going to go against the stream here and say possibly.

Although your boss has the ability to sense life, it is not at all certain how sensitive it is to individuals - especially employees that do not have Force in their skill portfolio (it comes with a better pay, but also high chances to be violently killed). You might slip through, especially if you are choked via teleconference.

How to do it?

  1. Make sure that your boss has to choke you remotely.
  2. Have a good friend/well paid helper in the body disposal unit that will revive you or rush you into the trauma unit.
  3. There's a number of drugs that can make you appear to die, dramatically slowing down your heartbeat, get one of those.
  4. If the drug above doesn't do it, get also a paralysing poison that will rigidly contract your muscles. Why? If you pass out, your muscles might loosen, which is a bad idea if your windpipe is being crushed with overwhelming Force.
  5. Be very careful with the dosage. You can just as easily kill yourself with the above drugs.
  6. Get a tiny injector or remote controller that you will carry on your hands at all times (careful to avoid a premature discharge).
  7. When your boss calls on you and you start feeling the pressure, your natural instincts will lead you to grab your throat in a futile effort to postpone the inevitable. Use these last few lucid moments to inject yourself with the drugs cocktail mentioned above.
  8. Good luck.
  9. Make sure your boss will be distracted or his attention be required elsewhere.
  10. Brush up your CV and look for a job in a galaxy much further away.
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    He's going to crush your windpipe to the size of a cocktail stick. Your chances of survival after that sort of traumatic injury are nil. – Valorum Sep 15 '15 at 14:10
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    @Richard - I'm not so sure. We're talking about a world where you can have 3 limbs lopped off, fall into a volcano, and catch on fire, then get some reconstructive surgery and live for decades as a ruthless robotic magician monster. A crushed windpipe is a cake walk for these doctors. – Wad Cheber Nov 28 '15 at 22:51
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    @WadCheber But medical capabilities in the galaxy were significantly reduced somewhere between the trilogies. I mean, look at the difference between Anakin's fake hand and Luke's... The former is way fancier. – Kevin Dec 15 '15 at 10:36
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    Easy explanation @Kevin: The Rebel Alliance was short on cash. – Daniel Feb 25 '16 at 22:52
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    @kevin I thought Luke was going for a retro or steam punk look. His first hand (ESB) looked quite natural. – Verdan Jan 21 '17 at 0:44
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Reading the previous comments and answers, in addition to my own observations of said boss and others of his ilk, I conclude that your chances are slim, and that your best bet is to convince your boss that you are not the pilot he is looking for.

This works better if you can blame someone already dead of course. They can't defend themselves, and while bosses of certain alignments have proven themselves capable of conversing with the deceased, your boss is not a part of that particular faction any longer.

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    And how do you convince him whilst you're being force-choked? – Möoz Dec 9 '16 at 3:09
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    @Mooz very carefully. – Broklynite Jun 21 '17 at 21:27
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Perhaps, but only under limited circumstances *

As noted, the force flows through all living things... except for the Yuuzhan Vong.

Most victims of a force-choke wouldn't be able to fake their way out as the choker would be able to feel the life leave them. As the Yuuzhan Vong are outside the force, a skill actor may be able to act dead, and hope that the choker ceases with before the victim actually expires.

* Those circumstances being that you live in the Star Wars: Legends universe.

4

If you believe Legends there could be a way to vanish from the Force.

In Darth Maul: Shadow Hunter there is mentioned a beast that is leaving in the Courscant underground that could be used to create cloak of the Force invisibility.

Lorn, unaware of this, uses a piece from the body of a subterranean creature to block his presence in the Force, and follows Maul to a Republic space station. 

protected by Community Nov 14 '17 at 10:46

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