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As a Rude Boy in high school, my favorite Ska band was The Scofflaws. One of the most popular songs of their live sets was William Shatner, during which the band and the audience would run back and forth on cue, much like the characters on Star Trek would do when the Enterprise was attacked.

The following lyrics have always puzzled me:

He's captain of the crew
And he knows Kung Fu
And he did Joan Collins in 19321.

William Shatner was born in 1931; even if he was already having amorous relationships at 1 year old, he couldn't have done so with Joan Collins, because she was born in 1933. Perhaps Kirk hooked up with Joan Collins at some point, but in order to do so in the 1930's, he must have been doing some time traveling.

Note: The intro to the song uses a naughty word and mentions Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice

What is the song referring to?


1This last bit might be "in 1930, too", but either way, it poses problems.

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The first two lines should be pretty obvious; Kirk is the captain, and can definitely hold his own in a fight.

The third line is a reference to "The City on the Edge of Forever", which involved Kirk, Spock, and McCoy travelling back in time to 19301. Joan Collins guest-starred as Edith Keeler, a woman of the time who Kirk falls in love with. Although it won't surprise you to learn that the show doesn't explicitly say they "did it", they do have a passionate kiss:

Kirk: Spock, I believe I'm in love with Edith Keeler.

[...]

Edith: Are you following me, sir?

Kirk: With ulterior motives. Does that please you?

Edith: I hope it means (she stumbles on the step and Kirk catches her, while Spock watches.) Oh! How stupid! I've been up and down those stairs a thousand times. I could have broken my neck.

(Spock goes back into room 21 as she kisses Jim, and re-emerges when Kirk comes down the stairs again.)

Star trek Season 1 Episode 28: "The City on the Edge of Forever"


1 No, not 1932. I suspect that was changed for the sake of a rhyme. Or else, as Wad Cheber suggests in comments, the line was meant to be "And he did Joan Collins in 1930, too"

  • I did get the Captain/Kung Fu bits. :) – Wad Cheber Nov 3 '15 at 16:47
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    Ah, so it probably is "1930, too" rather than "1932"! – Wad Cheber Nov 3 '15 at 16:47
  • @WadCheber That seems plausible – Jason Baker Nov 3 '15 at 16:51
  • @WadCheber: So, can anyone find official lyrics? – ThePopMachine Nov 3 '15 at 21:15
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    @ThePopMachine - This isn't a band with an official lyric site or anything like that. There are very few references to the song online. They were huge on Long Island and in the NY metro area in the early and mid 90's, in a fringe genre of music. There is still a band performing under that name, but I think only one of its current members was around back in the 90's. – Wad Cheber Nov 4 '15 at 0:11

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