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As a Rude Boy in high school, my favorite Ska band was The Scofflaws. One of the most popular songs of their live sets was William Shatner, during which the band and the audience would run back and forth on cue, much like the characters on Star Trek would do when the Enterprise was attacked.

The following lyrics have always puzzled me:

He's captain of the crew
And he knows Kung Fu
And he did Joan Collins in 19321.

William Shatner was born in 1931; even if he was already having amorous relationships at 1 year old, he couldn't have done so with Joan Collins, because she was born in 1933. Perhaps Kirk hooked up with Joan Collins at some point, but in order to do so in the 1930's, he must have been doing some time traveling.

Note: The intro to the song uses a naughty word and mentions Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice

What is the song referring to?


1This last bit might be "in 1930, too", but either way, it poses problems.

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The first two lines should be pretty obvious; Kirk is the captain, and can definitely hold his own in a fight.

The third line is a reference to "The City on the Edge of Forever", which involved Kirk, Spock, and McCoy travelling back in time to 19301. Joan Collins guest-starred as Edith Keeler, a woman of the time who Kirk falls in love with. Although it won't surprise you to learn that the show doesn't explicitly say they "did it", they do have a passionate kiss:

Kirk: Spock, I believe I'm in love with Edith Keeler.

[...]

Edith: Are you following me, sir?

Kirk: With ulterior motives. Does that please you?

Edith: I hope it means (she stumbles on the step and Kirk catches her, while Spock watches.) Oh! How stupid! I've been up and down those stairs a thousand times. I could have broken my neck.

(Spock goes back into room 21 as she kisses Jim, and re-emerges when Kirk comes down the stairs again.)

Star trek Season 1 Episode 28: "The City on the Edge of Forever"


1 No, not 1932. I suspect that was changed for the sake of a rhyme. Or else, as Wad Cheber suggests in comments, the line was meant to be "And he did Joan Collins in 1930, too"

  • I did get the Captain/Kung Fu bits. :) – Wad Cheber Nov 3 '15 at 16:47
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    Ah, so it probably is "1930, too" rather than "1932"! – Wad Cheber Nov 3 '15 at 16:47
  • @WadCheber That seems plausible – Jason Baker Nov 3 '15 at 16:51
  • @WadCheber: So, can anyone find official lyrics? – ThePopMachine Nov 3 '15 at 21:15
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    @ThePopMachine - This isn't a band with an official lyric site or anything like that. There are very few references to the song online. They were huge on Long Island and in the NY metro area in the early and mid 90's, in a fringe genre of music. There is still a band performing under that name, but I think only one of its current members was around back in the 90's. – Wad Cheber Nov 4 '15 at 0:11
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While Kirk (Shatner) did get friendly with Edith Keeler (Joan Collins) in "City on the Edge of Forever", it was 1930... (Kirk and Spock jumped back in time through the Guardian of Forever to find and retrieve McCoy, who had already done so while under the influence of an accidentally self-administered drug).

SETTING: A room in Edith Keeler's mission. McCoy is lying in bed, Edith Keeler sits by him.

MCCOY: (looking around) ... this looks like old Earth, around 1920, 25...

EDITH: Would you care to try for 30?

Despite there being several scenes where Kirk and Edith are walking together, there is no hint that much of anything more is going on between them, despite obvious intent. Compare to numerous scenes in other episodes where we must assume he's "gettin' it on" with some alien woman (quite overtly suggested in "Wink of an Eye").

"He did Joan Collins in 1932", while clearly inspired by "City on the Edge of Forever", is inaccurate in all sorts of ways. Even if the actors hooked up, it would have been closer to the 1960s (Shatner was born in 1931); there is nothing to suggest the characters Kirk and Keeler hooked up, although they seemed to be heading in that direction prior to her unfortunate demise.

  • This doesn't seem to add anything that isn't already covered in the accepted answer, and honestly this reads less like an answer and more like a rant. – Raj Oct 10 at 14:34

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