This may be Alfred Bester's 5,271,009.
Near the beginning:
“Well, sir, he’s still a young man; in his thirties
and very immature. When he became so very successful, he wasn’t ready
for it. He wasn’t prepared for the responsibilities of his life and
his career. That’s what the doctors told me. So he turned his back on
everything and withdrew into childhood.”
And the drawing on money?”
“They say that’s his
symbol of his return to childhood, Mr. Aquila. It proves he’s too
young to know what money is for.”
“Ah? Oui. Ja.
Astute, by crackey. And my portrait?”
explain that, Mr. Aquila, unless you have met him in the past and he
remembers you somehow. Or it may be a coincidence.”
“I was with Judy… . We realized we were in love that
night. We realized how wonderful life was going to be. And then you
passed and looked at me… . Just once. You looked at me. It was
“Tsk!” Mr. Aquila clicked his tongue
in vexation. “Now I remember said incident. I was unguarded. Bad news
from home. A pox on both my houses.”
in red and black… . Satanic. Wearing no mask. You looked at me…. A red
and black look I never forgot. A look from black eyes like pools of
hell, like cold fires of terror. And with that look you robbed me of
everything … of joy, of hope, of love, of life… .”
Near the end:
“Oh yes, God damn. If you live with one Jeez big
ulcer long enough, you miss him when he’s cut out. You were hiding in
an ulcer. I have robbed you of said refuge. Ergo: you feel cheated.
Wait! You will feel even more cheated. There was a price to pay, I
told you. You have paid it. Look.”
held up a hand mirror. Halsyon glanced into it, then started and
stared. A fifty-year-old face stared back at him: lined, hardened,
solid, determined. Halsyon leaped to his feet.
“Gently, gently,” Mr. Aquila admonished. “It is not
so bad. It is damned good. You are still thirty-three in age of
physique. You have lost none of your life… only all of your youth.
What have you lost? A pretty face to lure young girls? Is that why you
The story has been in several anthologies. If you live in the U.S. you may have read it in this collection.