If you're referring to the scene where...
he helps his father to have a peaceful, cost-effective retirement
part of the point of that scene is that, for this once, he takes down the walls around the side of him that's a vulnerable, non-evil emo kid and son of Han and Leia.
His challenge is to face that side of himself - the side that still more Ben than Kylo - overcome it, and eliminate it.
So when he's facing Han, he:
- removes his mask
- answers to "Ben", awkwardly (he tries to claim that side of him is dead, but it's clearly not completely true - yet)
- slowly lets his vulnerable side show
- slowly lets the repressed feelings of the "Ben" side of his personality come out
- allows a tender father-son moment to happen...
...Then, having let Ben out the bag, his challenge is to muster up all his inner darkness and overcome and eliminate that side of himself for once and for all.
You could see it as an empowering example that we can overcome our challenges and be the person we want to be.
In a way. ;-)
(although the novelization apparently reveals that...
...This personal triumph actually made him weaker, when he expected it to make him stronger. Be careful what you wish for and all that.)