According to Memory Alpha, the pon farr could lead to the plak tow (blood fever), which would literally result in death if not abated within 8 days.
The plak tow was initiated by telepathic contact, which would normally involve another vulcan of the opposite sex, but it was possible to engage it with other species (Ensign Vorik did this with B'Ellana Torres, in the Blood Fever, Voyager). There's no canon evidence I know of to suggest plak tow can or can't be initiated with someone of the same sex.
If the plak tow was initiated, it could be stopped by one of two methods: either mating successfully or engaging in kal if fee, a ritualistic fight to the death (although none of the kal if fee rituals shown in any series resulted in death that I recall).
Tuvok satiated his pon farr using a hologram of his wife, though he commented it was lacking compared to the real thing, and it doesn't seem he ever initiated the plak tow. (Body and Soul, Voyager.)
Vorik attempted to use a hologram of a vulcan female, but it was unsuccessful. I don't know if this is because he had already mind-linked with B'Ellana, because the hologram wasn't accurate enough, because he had no prior connection to the holographic female, or because he simply didn't attempt it (he expressed disdain for the idea to Tom Paris before the attempt, so maybe he just went in, waited for Tom to leave, then shut the hologram down).
Spock in TOS (Amok Time) suggested he would die if he couldn't satiate his pon farr. Tuvok, on the other hand, mentioned it could be avoided by intense meditation, though Vorik was unable to meditate successfully, so it may be something only some vulcans can achieve.
Tuvok had access to medicine that Spock didn't, so it could be a matter of advances in medicine between TOS and Voyager, but Vorik had the same medicine available which didn't help (though he also refused to complete the treatments so it may have helped if he wasn't so stubborn).
Given that fighting to the death can cause the pon farr to end, it seems logical to come up with some method of beating the crap out of a vulcan with the pon farr to end it, but that's not canon. Also, beating the crap out of a vulcan is a problem unto itself. So the holodeck method is probably better if it works.