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This is a story about the 'Internet of Things gone wrong'.

If I recall correctly, the protagonist's girlfriend decides she'd rather be with a ball of appliances than the dude, who has tried and failed to keep the things from linking up... if I'm right that's how the story ends.

Maybe Cory Doctorow?

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This is "...And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon" by Paul Di Filippo, originally published in 2003.

The information was embedded in an Aeron chair mated with several other objects: a Cuisinart, an autonomous vacuum cleaner with numerous interchangeable attachments, an iPod, and a diagnostic and therapeutic home medical tool known as a LifeQuilt. As rivals go, this spontaneous assemblage—or "bleb," as most people called such random accretions of intelligent appliances and artifacts, after the biological term for an extrusion of anomalous cells—wasn't particularly handsome. Rather clunky looking, in fact. But apparently, it had been devoted to Cody from the day it was born, and I guess women appreciate such attention. I have to confess that I had been ignoring Cody shamefully during the period when the Aeron bleb must've been forming and beginning to court her, and so I have no one to blame for the threat of losing her but myself. Still, it hurt. I mean, could I really come in second to a bleb? That would truly reek.

You can read the full story online here

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  • Wow, that was fast. Have you read this before?
    – Adamant
    Commented Nov 3, 2016 at 9:52
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    Yes, it's been repeatedly collected. It was in the Yrs best scifi (23) and Mammoth Book of Extreme Scifi.
    – Valorum
    Commented Nov 3, 2016 at 9:53
  • YES! Thank you Valorum. @adamant too, thank you, I appreciate you setting me straight on how we do things here. Commented Dec 5, 2016 at 17:20
  • @RobertLeachman - Glad you're happy. Don't forget to upvote and press the "accepted" button to show that you've accepted that this is the correct answer.
    – Valorum
    Commented Dec 5, 2016 at 17:44

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