This is "...And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon" by Paul Di Filippo, originally published in 2003.
The information was embedded in an Aeron chair mated with several
other objects: a Cuisinart, an autonomous vacuum cleaner with numerous
interchangeable attachments, an iPod, and a diagnostic and therapeutic
home medical tool known as a LifeQuilt. As rivals go, this spontaneous
assemblage—or "bleb," as most people called such random accretions of
intelligent appliances and artifacts, after the biological term for an
extrusion of anomalous cells—wasn't particularly handsome. Rather
clunky looking, in fact. But apparently, it had been devoted to Cody
from the day it was born, and I guess women appreciate such attention.
I have to confess that I had been ignoring Cody shamefully during the
period when the Aeron bleb must've been forming and beginning to court
her, and so I have no one to blame for the threat of losing her but
myself. Still, it hurt. I mean, could I really come in second to a
bleb? That would truly reek.
You can read the full story online here