In chapter 14, Ender is training in the "simulator", communicating with the others via "headphones" (communicating to the real ships via Ansible).
Are the other children on Eros in their own distributed simulators? They're involved in the final battle at the Buggers' homeworld, but it's too far away for them to have been physically present on any of the ships.
This would mean none of Ender's class mates were in any real danger; that is, no child was ever physically in danger of dying during the real battles.
It would also mean that any of the children that were flying in a fighter (not a Starfighter), weren't physically visible to the "real" fighters, which means the majority of the deployed IF knew that the children were commanding the battles, even if they themselves did not.