There were many signs that Tonks fell in love with Lupin - her patronus changed, she was miserable and subdued etc. I don't remember reading about Lupin ever showing affection to Tonks.

While Lupin's initial refusal and reluctance to enter a relationship can be explained by his 'little furry problem', I am still curious if there was any indication at all in the books that Lupin was indeed interested in Tonks and wasn't just the guy who was unable to say 'no'.


There is one rather pointed clue in Half-Blood Prince, when Lupin visits the Weasleys for Christmas.

Meanwhile, Remus Lupin, who was thinner and more ragged-looking than ever, was sitting beside the fire, staring into its depths as though he could not hear Celestinas voice.

Oh, come and stir my cauldron,
And if you do it right,
I'll boil you up some hot strong love
To keep you warm tonight.

Men staring deeply into a fire while a love song plays generally only means one thing.

More to the point, when he tries to talk Tonks out of a relationship, his excuses are varied.

"And I've told you a million times," said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor... too dangerous..."


"I am not being ridiculous," said Lupin steadily. "Tonks deserves somebody young and whole."

If he didn't want to date Tonks because he doesn't like her, surely that would top the list? But his response seems to take for granted that if he were young, whole, safe, etc., they would be together. I don't see how to take that other than an admission he has feelings for Tonks. And if he did lack feelings for Tonks, Lupin doesn't seem like the type to torture her for months by leading her along.

More to the point, people don't generally become a couple and then married in the span of a month. I think it's clear they were deeply in love.

  • 11
    I'm not convinced. Both can be explained by a general social awkwardness, which tends to happen when you're a werewolf. – isanae Dec 27 '16 at 21:53
  • 2
    @isanae But they did end up together, so the evidence seems to fit the crime, as it were. – tobiasvl Dec 27 '16 at 21:58
  • 4
    @tobiasvl He must also have scratched his arse a few times before they end up together, but I don't see how it's relevant. – isanae Dec 27 '16 at 22:01
  • 8
    @tobiasvl How about this: he stared into the fire because he was uncomfortable in large groups and he came up with excuses because he didn't want to hurt her by saying he didn't love her. – isanae Dec 27 '16 at 22:07
  • 3
    @isanae Given the tendency of the author to foreshadow events and make things significant, I would say that the quotes shown in the second citation were designed to imply Lupin's feelings for Tonks. – sabbahillel Dec 27 '16 at 22:32

Intended as a supplementary answer, as the question specifies in the books but this writing from JK Rowling from Pottermore makes the matter very clear.

"Remus, so often melancholy and lonely, was first amused, then impressed, then seriously smitten by the young witch. He had never fallen in love before. If it had happened in peacetime, Remus would have simply taken himself off to a new place and a new job, so that he did not have to endure the pain of watching Tonks fall in love with a handsome, young wizard in the Auror office, which was what he expected to happen. However, this was war; they were both needed in the Order of the Phoenix, and nobody knew what the next day would bring. Remus felt justified in remaining exactly where he was, keeping his feelings to himself but secretly rejoicing every time somebody paired him with Tonks on some overnight mission.

It had never occurred to Remus that Tonks could return his feelings because he had become so used to considering himself unclean and unworthy."

And when she professes her love:

"Remus’s immediate response was a happiness he had never experienced in his life."

Later in the same writing, Lupin's anxieties are summarised by Rowling as:

"He swung constantly between elation that he was married to the woman of his dreams and terror of what he might have brought upon them both."

The woman of his dreams! Have no doubts, Lupin loved Tonks.


  • 1
    I found that one, but still had my doubts. JKR is very skilled at showing attraction or intimacy in one beat or even with a word. After the first chapter of HBP it's evident the Malfoy couple are very close and even Molly gets a private nickname in book7. But all Tonks gets from L is readiness to disappear from beyond her horizon even when shes pregnant with a kid that may or may not have inherited the curse. – user68762 Dec 28 '16 at 16:15

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy