In Westeros, like our world, stereotypical and/or racist jokes are common.

Given the rivalry between Highgarden and Dorne, such jokes about Dornishmen seem to be particularly popular in the Reach1.

For example:

Joffrey should have met the Dornishmen himself, he reflected as he sat waiting, but he would have mucked it up, no doubt. Of late the king had been repeating little jests about the Dornish that he'd picked up from Mace Tyrell's men-at-arms. How many Dornishmen does it take to shoe a horse? Nine. One to do the shoeing, and eight to lift the horse up. Somehow Tyrion did not think Doran Martell would find that amusing.
ASOS - Tyrion V

This is one manifestation of Lightbulb jokes (Warning: TV Tropes link).

Do we know of any other Dornish jokes from ASOIAF Cannon sources?

1. A lot of Stereotypes are mainly about Dornishmen, not just the jocular ones. Like Anguy telling Arya that Dornishmen are all liars or Jon telling Ygritte that it is a saying that never Drink with Dornishmen when the moon is full (Whatever that means) etc.

  • 3
    A list question, but I guess it can be answered conclusively by listing all the Dornish jokes found in the books
    – tobiasvl
    Commented Mar 30, 2017 at 8:56
  • 3
    @tobiasvl Indeed. I have actually searched through all the books. Can't find any other one except this one. Give it a shot yourself if you want to. Alternatively There are none other is a valid answer unless someone manages to find another one
    – Aegon
    Commented Mar 30, 2017 at 8:59

1 Answer 1


I can only find one other proper Dornishman joke, of the genre you refer to, although the punchline is not revealed. From A Storm of Swords, "Tyrion V" (the same chapter your joke was from):

"You want to die with a breast in hand, you said." Tyrion cantered on ahead to where the ferry barges waited on the south bank of the Blackwater. He had suffered all he meant to suffer of what passed for Dornish wit. Father should have sent Joffrey after all. He could have asked Prince Oberyn if he knew how a Dornishman differed from a cowflop. That made him grin despite himself. He would have to make a point of being on hand when the Red Viper was presented to the king.

And this is not actually a joke, but it refers the joke setup you mention in your question, and it's also from the same chapter:

A Martell sun, but ten years too young, Tyrion thought as he reined up, too fit as well, and far too fierce. He knew what he must deal with by then. How many Dornishmen does it take to start a war? he asked himself. Only one. Yet he had no choice but to smile.

I guess this can count as a joke; A Clash of Kings, "Tyrion IV":

"This secret is your lord father's sworn man."
"My father would be the first to tell you that fifty thousand Dornishmen are worth one rabid dog."

This is not exactly a joke, but a humorous stereotype from A Feast for Crows, "Prologue":

Leo's eyes were hazel, bright with wine and malice. "Your mother was a monkey from the Summer Isles. The Dornish will fuck anything with a hole between its legs. Meaning no offense. You may be brown as a nut, but at least you bathe. Unlike our spotted pig boy." He waved a hand toward Pate.

A Game of Thrones, "Eddard IV", mentions a similar humorous stereotypical remark:

"The Crown is more than six million gold pieces in debt, Lord Stark. The Lannisters are the biggest part of it, but we have also borrowed from Lord Tyrell, the Iron Bank of Braavos, and several Tyroshi trading cartels. Of late I've had to turn to the Faith. The High Septon haggles worse than a Dornish fishmonger."

There's also "The Dornishman's Wife" from A Storm of Swords, "Jon I", which is a humorous song about how Dornish women are so fair they're worth getting killed for.

Like you say, there are many other Dornish stereotypes mentioned in the books, like "men said it was the food that made Dornishmen so hot-tempered and their women so wild and wanton", but those aren't jokes or meant to be humorous.

As a bonus, although you asked about the books: We do have another joke in the same genre in the first Game of Thrones episode of the fourth season, "Two Swords" (video), although we don't learn the punchline here either:

Bronn: "How many Dornishmen does it take to fuck a goat?"
Tyrion: "Please don't."

  • 3
    Wow, people in this series are terrible. Commented Mar 30, 2017 at 12:13
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    The song "the Dornishman's Wife" is probably worth a mention too since the whole thing is basically an extended joke about dornish men and women's different... passionate manners. Commented Mar 30, 2017 at 12:55
  • @user568458 Agreed, I added it.
    – tobiasvl
    Commented Apr 5, 2017 at 9:39

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