I'm losing my mind trying to find a fan-fiction. Here are the details that I remember (that, when googled, won't bring up what I'm hunting):

  1. Harry is pregnant by Draco and is abandoned by him
    • gives birth alone, with only his Healers
    • doesn't put a middle name on the birth certificate
    • baby boy named James, I think
  2. Baby has colic and doesn't stop crying, and has diarrhoea
  3. Harry gets sick
    • nipples cracked and inflamed
    • possible blood poisoning
  4. Briefly, in exhaustion and moment of abject depression, considers letting his son drown in his bath
  5. Blocks the outside world out until he can no longer take care of either of them
  6. Gets back together with Draco but is nervous and easy to hurt emotionally now
  • 4
    How on earth did they get back together after all that?
    – Möoz
    Commented Jun 6, 2017 at 21:20
  • 16
    Which site did you read this masterpiece on?
    – Valorum
    Commented Jun 6, 2017 at 21:21
  • 19
    This is absolutely unbelievable and utterly disgraceful. Why wouldn't he put a middle name on the birth certificate?????
    – Kerr Avon
    Commented Jun 6, 2017 at 21:26
  • 13
    if we help you find this story, then the Drarry shippers win. Unacceptable.
    – KutuluMike
    Commented Jun 6, 2017 at 21:37
  • 5
    If you have the answer, it needs to be added as a self-answer, not an edit to the original question.
    – Valorum
    Commented Jun 13, 2017 at 6:36

2 Answers 2


Per OP's edit to their own answer, this is Endurance by bgd_thrifty, originally published on Ao3.

  • Harry becomes pregnant.

    “You… what?” Harry doesn’t reply, just watches Draco’s wand hand carefully. He knows how quick on the draw a Malfoy can be when enraged. But Draco seems to be folding in on himself.

    “Is that mine?” he asks, waving vaguely at Harry’s stomach as the anger drains from his figure. Harry is tired of being a fucking wet blanket.

    “No. It’s mine.” Harry doesn’t care that he sounds childish, that anyone sensible would tell him that he’d been the one that wanted Draco here. Now that Harry can see Draco’s pinched, pale features, he wonders what the hell had managed to make them stick together for so long.

  • The baby is colicky and unwell. Harry admits that he considered killing it

    “He’s so quiet,” Harry whispers. He doesn’t want to disturb the baby’s slumber. James is also much bigger than the last time Harry saw him, and Harry’s arms raise to take him before realising that he can’t do that anymore. Mustn’t.

    “He had colic. He wasn’t crying because of you. Sometimes babies just –” No. Harry can’t listen to this again. They’ve said this so many times, but he can’t believe it to be true.

    “I tried to kill him.” Harry is frank. He wants this danger out of his house before something bad happens. He can’t be trusted around this vulnerable infant, even with Draco here to protect James.


  • 2
    I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... Commented Jun 24, 2017 at 20:58
  • 4
    @iMerchant - That really isn't the word that I would use
    – Valorum
    Commented Jun 24, 2017 at 22:25
  • 4
    @Valorum - This story it's not my cup of tea. It's more like I'm fascinated that people can come up with such weird shite. I didn't read all of it. My mind kept on being distracted trying to psychoanalyze the author. I wonder what JKR thinks about fanfics doing macabre things to her characters and plot lines.
    – iMerchant
    Commented Jun 24, 2017 at 22:32
  • 1
    Nice find Valorum - it's got nipple crack and everything! How many did you have to read before you found it?
    – Kerr Avon
    Commented Jun 25, 2017 at 8:37
  • 4
    @KerrAvon - The OP identified it in an edit to their own answer. I suggested that they self-answer but after they'd not been back for a week, I posted the above
    – Valorum
    Commented Jun 25, 2017 at 9:52

Here's your link Destany Santana...enjoy.

Loss and Pain by Lovell Luka

enter image description here

  • 19
    It must be....Harry tells Draco to lube up and Slytherin.
    – Kerr Avon
    Commented Jun 6, 2017 at 21:47
  • 5
    @KerrAvon I'm dead!
    – Möoz
    Commented Jun 6, 2017 at 22:33
  • 6
    @DestanySantana I'm sorry. First you, in all sincerity, talk about the existence of a fan fiction where Draco gets Harry pregnant, then someone actually finds that fan-fiction, and then you say that it is the wrong one, implying there are multiple? +1
    – LCIII
    Commented Jun 12, 2017 at 13:14
  • 7
    Yes. The details in my post weren't in the link posted. There are many Drarry mpreg stories; the link given to me was a good one, one of many, but not the one I am searching for. Commented Jun 13, 2017 at 1:59
  • 9
    "mpreg" .... this site keeps adding to my vocabulary in new and unexpected ways. Commented Jun 13, 2017 at 3:42

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