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Has Jean Luc Picard ever said, "I have to go, Number One (or two)".?

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    “I think I can withstand the dvs”. That’s what they all think. To begin with. – Paul D. Waite Sep 8 '17 at 10:02
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    Think of all the rep getting flushed away – Valorum Sep 8 '17 at 15:12
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    @Valorum - that joke was bad, and you should feel bad. In fact, I'd say that joke was just crappy. – Jeff Sep 8 '17 at 15:16
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    @Jeff - I work very hard on my jokes. In fact, you could say that I toil et it. – Valorum Sep 8 '17 at 15:19
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    The question is unbecoming of the site IMHO - and I'm not convinced the actual answer is of any significance to you (or at all). So -1. – einpoklum Sep 9 '17 at 0:11
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Based on a quick search of Chakoteya's excellent script search, at no point in Star Trek history has anyone uttered the words...

go number one/number two

...or any variation thereof. And while Picard has uttered the words...

have to go

...on no less than 13 separate occasions, none of them are in conjunction with Number One


That being said, you may be thinking of Q's rather funny quip in TNG: True Q. At the time, Q was wearing a Starfleet Captain's uniform.

[Riker ENTERS and stops when he sees Q and Amanda. Q is standing in front of her... her eyes are closed, as though concentrating on something. The minute Q sees Riker --]

Q: If it isn't Number Two...

TNG: True Q - Original Screenplay

enter image description here

or you might even be thinking of Beavis and Butthead (warning, NSFW content)

(Not)Picard: Number One, I order you to go take a number two.

(Not)Riker: Aye Aye, Captain.

(Not)Picard: Hehe. [Reflective Pause] This is cool

enter image description here

|improve this answer|||||
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    also, there was a Beavis and Butthead bit where they were dreaming they were on Star Trek. Jean-Butthead Pickard says "Number one, I order you to take a Number Two" – Kevin Milner Sep 8 '17 at 15:22
  • @KevinMilner - Worthy of its own edit. – Valorum Sep 8 '17 at 15:23

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