This book is only available in German.
The following english excerpts are rough translations by myself to the best of my abilities. I will start with the German texts and then translate them to show where I was remembering things correctly and where I was wrong.
From the linked website:
Mit Wortwitz und einer gehörigen Portion schwarzem Humor präsentiert Jan Oldenburg die wohl anspruchsvollste Queste, die je ein High-Fantasy-Held gesehen hat. Denn was ist schwieriger, als einer verzogenen Totenbeschwörer-Tochter die gemeingefährlichen Flausen auszutreiben? Wenn ein Oberbösewicht gleich am Anfang der Geschichte stirbt, ist meistens etwas faul. Doch das ahnt die Heldengruppe um den Zwergenkrieger Stahlbart noch nicht, als sie einen finsteren Totenbeschwörer ins Jenseits befördert. Ihr Erzfeind luchst den Helden in seinen letzten Atemzügen das Versprechen ab, auf seine kleine Tochter Nenia aufzupassen und sie zu ihren nächsten Verwandten zu bringen. Das allerdings ist weitaus gefährlicher als angenommen: Nicht nur scheinen alle potenziellen Adoptiveltern ausgemachte Psychopathen zu sein, sie sterben den Helden auch noch regelmäßig vor der Nase weg. Und dann ist da noch die kleine Nenia, die selbst alles andere als harmlos ist …
My english translation (emphasis to show things that are present or similar to what I wrote in my question):
With linguistic jokes and a good portion of black humor Jan Oldenburg presents the most pretentious quest a High-Fantasy-Hero has ever seen. For what could be more difficult then trying to make a Necromancer's daughter stop her highly dangerous nonsense? When a supervillain dies right at the beginning of the story most of the time something is wrong. But the group of heroes surrounding dwarven warrior Stahlbert [Steel-Beard] doesn't anticipate this turn of events when they were dispatching the dark necromancer. With his last breath their archenemy is wresting a promise from them to look out for his little daugther Nenia and to bring her to her relatives. This is far more dangerous than they would have anticipated though: not only do all the potential adoptive parents seem to be outright psychopaths, they are also dying one after the other right in front of our heroes. And then there is little Nenia, who herself is everything but benign...
The blurb from the back of the book:
Hüte dich vor dem Totentrickser!
Mit Keule und Streitaxt gehen Zwergenkrieger Brom und seine wackeren Gefährten ihrem heroischen Handwerk nach. Doch so ein Heldenleben kann ordentlich aus den Fugen geraten. Vor allem, wenn man einem sterbenden Totenbeschwörer verspricht, auf seine ungezogene Tochter aufzupassen - und sich plötzlich mit einer ganzen Sippe nekromantsicher Nachtelfen herumschlagen muss.
My english translation:
Beware the Death-Trickster!
With club and battleaxe dwarven warrior Brom and his brave companions are pursuing their heroic craft. But such a heroe's life can fall to pieces. Especially when you promise a dying necromancer to watch out for his naughty daughter - and suddenly you are battling with a whole family of night elves.
I found the book, so here are some little quotes I could find:
First of all, it was not an Orc, but an Ogre.
"Also, ich find Broms Plan gut.", brummte Bolgur, der Barbareenoger, in seiner bedächtigen Art.
Page 5
Translation:
"So, I like Broms plan.", grumbles Bolgur, the barbarian ogre, in his slow manner.
Bolgur is not the brightest since a certain battle caused a concussion.
"Bolgur, wie viele Finger zeige ich hier?" [...] Bolgur kniff die Augen zusammen, sein Gesicht zeigte alle Symptome höchster geistiger Anspannung.
"Gelb", brachte er schließlich hervor.
Page 6
Translation:
"Bolgur, how many fingers am I showing?" [...] Bolgur narrowed his eyes to a slit, his face was showing all symptoms of maximum mental strain.
"Yellow", he finally utters.
The scene with the wooden door is in the beginning, though it's Brom "Die Axt" Stahlbart [Brom "The Axe" Steel-Beard] who tells Brom to run the door in with his head, because the ideas about distractions and illusion magic from his companions are not to his taste and you never change a running system. The discussion is quite long (and pretty funny, for the ogre multiplication tables apparently say that the correct order of numbers should be "three, two, yellow") so I will not translate it.
There are a gnome mage and an imp rogue in the group.
I can't find any scene right now where Bolgur was referring to his relatives. Seems like I need to read some more. If I find one (and remember this plan) I will update this post.