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Looking for a horror/comedy movie that I saw on the Sci-Fi channel (Pre-2009 name change) with talking zombies in it.

Media: Movie.

Original year: Saw it sometime between 2004 and 2009.

Major themes: ?

Tone: Horror/Comedy.

Setting: America/American English speaking country.

Language: English.

Color/Black and White: In color.

Characters:

  • Male zombie (talking) (white)
  • 2 male store clerks (cashiers?) (white)
  • Store boss (abusive) (white)
  • Woman hiding in closet (might have been black?)
  • 8-12 year old girl (talking zombie)

Actors: Don't remember.

Target audience: Teenagers?

Plot:

  • There appear to be two types of zombies: the "normal" type that groan and walk/run, and a group of zombies that can talk, but will still try to eat your brains.
  • Comedy bit: One talking zombie has an urge for flesh while sitting in an abandoned car, and with no other meat around, grabs his own arm/hand and starts gnawing on it. He's discovered by a few passerby, and awkwardly tries to mumble a hello with his arm/hand still in his mouth. The limb is still attached to his body. He didn't rip it off.
  • Comedy bit: Two disgruntled employees in a Wal-mart like store take revenge on their abusive boss by recreating Monty Python's Bring Out Your Dead scene - which is probably made more "believable" due to the talking zombies - ending with one man shooting the boss with a shotgun. (I think the other employees cheered, but I'm not positive.)
  • Comedy bit: A woman is chased to a closet and with nowhere to go, accepts her fate and turns off the light so she won't see her death. She's still alive after several seconds, so she thinks the zombies left and turns the lights back on, only to see the horde standing there about to lunge at her again. Further experimentation confirms that the zombies are afraid of the dark.
  • Ending: A group of survivors rescue a young girl (8-12?) from a zombie-infested area. The group is driving away and making small talk when the girl is revealed to be a talking zombie and bites the driver's hand. The movie then cuts to nighttime, with over a hundred zombies congregated around a single cabin with a porch light on (last stand?).

Already ruled out: Day of the Dead (1985), any Sci-Fi Original Movie (the CGI, if any, was of a much higher quality then their average movie).

  • Welcome to Science Fiction & Fantasy! This question would be improved by going through the checklists here; How to ask a good story-ID question? – Valorum Dec 15 '18 at 17:32
  • Just to confirm: you're talking about this list, right? – jinkevin Dec 15 '18 at 17:59
  • @jinkevin: That would be the one. Also available under the Learn More link for the story-identification tag. You've made an excellent start at clarifying things. – FuzzyBoots Dec 15 '18 at 18:07
  • Googling for "zombie eats own arm" gave me what must be the most horrifying film clip in which Levar Burton ever appeared. – Buzz Dec 18 '18 at 2:27
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You're looking for Hide and Creep from 2004.

Residents of a small Southern town contend with bloodthirsty zombies, a mysterious flying saucer, and bad television reception.

The man gnawing on his hand in a car then pretending he's not, the zombies being afraid of the dark, the twist of the little girl biting the guy's hand while they're driving away and the zombies on the porch in the end, it's all there. It's somewhat inventive for a shoestring horror movie. The whole thing is currently on Youtube here, and here's the trailer [WARNING: SLIGHTLY GORY]:

  • If this is the correct answer, you can accept it by clicking on the checkmark by the voting buttons ;-) – Stormblessed Feb 3 at 23:38

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