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Recently I started watching YouTube videos with short stories about spacefaring humans and their first contact or other encounters with aliens. These stories mostly titled HFY, from a reddit site called Humanity Fuck Yeah. I usually just random Google them with "humans are space orcs" or "humans are weird" in YouTube. I want to rewatch one interesting story, but I just can't remember its name.

Scenario:

The alien captain greets the human delegates in his ship. One man, something Jenkins or James, also greets him and asks that what type of ammo they use for their railguns. He says he made bets that it's some kind of tungsten rod. The captain is surprised; he didn't knew that humans have railguns, then Jenkins explains that they don't, not really working ones.

Then Jenkins says that some of them are disappointed because everyone thought that the aliens would teleport them for the first meeting. The captain asks what a teleport is, then Jenkins explains him the whole breakdown someone to atoms and reassemble them somewhere else thing. The captain again with a surprised face asks if the humans have that technology, but Jenkins answers that of course not.

Later they are walking in a hallway when the captain activates his floating belt to keep up the amazed Jenkins. Jenkins totally loves his belt and says that it's like Captain inserted action hero's. The alien captain wants to know who is this Captain inserted action hero and again asks if humans have that. But the answer is again no. Jenkins makes many comments about how many other ways they can use it, like for that ordinary wheeled car in the hallway.

Now the alien captain becomes a little annoyed; other races are awed at their technology, not understanding it at all, and looking at it as some kind of magic. But this human, no matter how amazed he is to see their technology, speaks about it like he holds in his hands every day. Just by looking at it, he can name the device and accurately guess and describe what it's doing, despite the claims that humanity doesn't own any of the wonders his ship holds.

He become determined that he will get that awe from this human no matter what. He takes the human into their holodeck with the attempt to scare him with a simulation of a wild animal. But even before the program is fully loaded the human names that they are in a holodeck and then wants to pet a fierce feline like creature.

After that, Jenkins attaches his mobile to the holodeck control and shows, and unintentionally scares, the captain with a grizzly bear. In the meeting at the end, both say goodbye and hope they will see each other. The alien captain then says to his bureaucrats that they need the humans as allies, because this species is so much ahead of their time that they not just theorise technology they currently don't own, but right away have useful ideas for ones they had never seen before.

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    Just thought I'd say, the actual line is "Holy crap! You got a suspensor belt! Just like Baron Harkonnen..." in reference to your floating belt. Baron Harkonnen isn't an action hero, but a uh really fat main villain in the first Dune novel. He uses a suspensor belt because of his great weight.
    – BMF
    Jul 10, 2021 at 19:23
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    Not really an answer (hence a comment), but this reminds me of an anthology with stories were aliens always underestimate humans, called "The trouble with humans". The story you talk about would fit right in there.
    – Sentry
    Jul 11, 2021 at 10:29
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    Not an answer, but if you like these types of stories of human ingenuity compared to aliens, Isaac Asimov wrote a few like that, including: the Homo Sol short story trilogy and Nothing for Nothing (and others).
    – Moshe Katz
    Jul 11, 2021 at 14:59
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    Just as a hint: If you are logged in in Youtube, there is an entry named "History" in the menu. Jul 11, 2021 at 23:25

1 Answer 1

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Tech.

This is the original story on Reddit.

As the diplomats entered the meeting room, I found myself left outside said room, in the antechamber, with one of the humans - the pilot of their shuttle. After a few awkward minutes of just standing there, competing with the human in a wall staring contest, he decided to break the silence, trying to make some small talk, no doubt.

"So... Captain High Crest, I hope I am not overstepping here, but we have a bet going on, back on our station, and I was hoping you would help me settle it. What do you use for ammunition for the ship's rail gun? My money is on tungsten spheres."

Needless to say, I use a little surprised by the question. Humans were not supposed to have this technology.

"Well...yes, actually. We use tungsten. Depending on the weapon (ship's weapon or ground mechanized artillery), we use spheres, or sometimes tungsten rods. Please excuse my surprise, but I was under the impression that you, humans, did not posses this type of weapons."

"Oh, we don't actually HAVE railguns. I mean ... we have some experiments and we know the basic concepts. Unfortunately, the super conductors are kinda rare on our home in order for us to be able to make any viable weapons at the moment. But, since now we can travel a bit faster through the stars, I'm guessing we can find those type of materials easier. Also, seeing you guys use them, will increase the military's confidence in this tech. So, we will probably have them soon."

[...]

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