This story’s only enduring scene has a Lonestar-type sketchy Han Solo knockoff protagonist forced while infiltrating a group of space pirates to perform a gang initiation style act of hazing to show his allegiance.

For whatever reason escapes me now, he boasts that he’ll get rid of his… ahem, “pistol” — and not the one in his holster, but below his belt — and manages to successfully execute the charade by faking up a prosthetic and then whac— ummm, ahem, “cutting” it off.

I’m not sure if it was an anthology short story or part of single novel-length story. I’m pretty sure I read it maybe in early 1990s but I don’t recall if it was new. Humor was this level of Ice Pirates sophomoric locker-room type of humor.

  • 1
    Ice Pirates would have been my guess (I remember a scene involving castration of characters and some of the main characters faking it). But you already mentioned it, so I don't think it is.
    – Hothie
    Oct 13, 2021 at 9:37
  • Yeah. Certain it wasn’t novelization of Ice Pirates, if there even was one. The prosthetic was the ummmm… the frank, not the beans, and just involved the hero. Oct 13, 2021 at 12:10
  • 1
    Is it true that the Pirates died out because they never had kids?
    – jim
    Oct 13, 2021 at 19:35

1 Answer 1


It's a bit of a long shot, but this might be from the second book in the Eagleheart series by C.T. Westcott, Broadsides and Brass

It was a 3-book series published around the right time, the character is about right and the scene you describe is pretty much word-for-word what happens in the book. The humour sounds about right too!

The main deviation is that the series is set on Earth in a semi-post-apocalyptic near-ish future.

  • 2
    I’m pretty sure that is it. I thought it was space not post-apocalyptic earth but that cover is familiar. Thank you. You would not believe my Internet search history looking for this thing, lol. Oct 13, 2021 at 14:17

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