15

In the 1980s in Amazing or F&SF I read a story about a contagious disease that caused people to be obsessed with talking about themselves. Asking "How are you?" was a common way for people to establish that they were not infected (since no one with the disease would ever say that). One person who was already self-absorbed got the disease - and made some embarrassing statements about how he (pre-disease) would work to turn conversations into monologues about himself.

I don't recall how the story ended - if I recall correctly, it was more of a slice-of-life story about the new circumstances.

1 Answer 1

22

This sounds very much like The Narcissus Plague by Lisa Goldstein, first published in Asimov's in July 1994.

As in the question, a virulent disease causes people to endless to talk about themselves, just spouting a never-ending rambling flow of drivel. The story is centered on a reporter, Amy Nunes and her editor, who take extreme hygienic precautions to make sure they do not catch it. One way to check each other is to ask after each other's health:

"Hi, Amy, how are you?" my editor Thomas asked. This is the only way we greet each other now. It's meant to assure other people that we can still take an interest in them, that we don't have the plague.

A co-worker, who had always thought himself the center of attention, suddenly catches the disease and becomes much, much worse:

"I like to be noticed," Gary was saying. "I love it when people pay attention to me. That's what I live for. I have to have someone listening to me and watching me at every minute ..."

Almost everyone was trying not to laugh. "One day, I remember, we were sitting around and talking about the president," Gary was saying. "So I started talking about the president too, and then the president's brother, and then my own brother, and finally I got to my favorite topic, myself...

One of the more enterprising reporters on the paper had turned on his tape recorder. If Dr. Clark had indeed found a cure for the virus Gary was going to have a very hard time living this one down.

Amy goes to interview a scientist, the Dr Clark mentioned above, who claims to have found a cure for the disease. It all seems to be true, and the doctor keeps a small supply of the pills in a bottle on her desk. She cannot release the cure until the FDA gives approval, so Amy schemes to steal the bottle and dose her boyfriend, Mark, who has been unbearable since he caught the disease. The story ends on a happy note when shortly after taking the pills, Mark's monologue tails off and he asks her "Where have you been?".

0

Your Answer

By clicking “Post Your Answer”, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge you have read our privacy policy.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.