A Fantasy short fiction with adult, but very funny content

Question

I read this short story (or maybe short novelette) twenty or more years ago, in English, in a collection.

A man finds two female breasts in his underwear drawer. Is it not at all gore, no blood, the side of the breasts that should have been attached to a body are covered with healthy skin. Not only that, but they seem to be enjoying being where they are.

He decides to keep them, and locks the drawer shut. Then he hears noise inside, as if the breasts are trying to open it, but to no avail.

The next morning he realises that some of his body parts, for which he has a lot of, say, consideration, are missing. Again, nothing gore; a perfectly healthy skin covers the place where they should have been. But this is a poor consolation.

He deduces that his parts are probably with the woman whose breasts he has imprisoned. And he tries to find her. I'm not sure how. Possibly by freeing the breasts (or maybe only one ?) and follow the escapee(s) till he finds her. Or maybe by personal ads in newspapers ?

It works out and he find his parts in her underwear drawer. Apparently they enjoy being there, too.

After some explanations, each party recovers the appropriate body parts and IIRC they all have a lot of fun together (without underwear...)

Answer 1

Still Life with Boobs by Anne Harris. I read it in the 2007 Nebula Awards Showcase.

It's not quite as you remember. It starts when the protagonist Gwen realises that her boobs are going out at night while she's asleep:

She could no longer ignore the fact that her breasts were going  out at night without her. Gwen stood in front of the bathroom mirror and gave George and Gracie a long hard stare. They bore marks she knew they had not acquired in her presence; scratches, smears of dirt and other, less identifiable substances.

Later on in the story Gwen finds the penis and puts it in her underwear drawer. Apparently her boobs had met the penis while they were out partying and they'd brought it home with them:

One night she awoke to find three blobs of flesh wiggling on her. She fumbled for the bedside lamp and beheld in the amber glow George and Gracie perching proudly on either side of a semi-flaccid penis. It was a testament to her reconciliation with her situation that she didn’t scream and fling the thing across the room. Clearly, her breasts had meant well, but there was no telling where this little cock had been, and no way she was going to let it join their nocturnal games.

Groaning, Gwen sat up and stared at the penis, which regarded her with cycloptic innocence. She took a slip from the floor by the bed, draped it over the wayward penis and scooped it up, padding across the room to her dresser. She placed the penis gently in her underwear drawer, shut it, and went back to sleep.

The penis belongs to the new guy in accounting:

The new guy from accounting stood there, shifting restlessly from foot to foot. “Um. Hi. I—uh, I’m sorry to bother you but . . . Geez, this is embarrassing. I—uh, I lost my—I lost something and I was wondering if . . .” His blue eyes wandered past her to peer into the apartment, desperation and dread warring on his face.

Gwen suddenly remembered the penis in her dresser drawer. Good Lord. “Why don’t you come in?” she said.

He looked relieved.

Not the greatest work of literature, but rereading it to get the quotes I have to admit it made me chuckle.