Since Voltaire claims the quotes were mostly based on fan input and his own recollection of the series, I was wondering if it would be possible to get all the episodes together that contain the scenes that the song is based on.
This is the version from the album BiTrektual:
Well, I was stranded on a planet, just me and Spock
We met a nasty Nazi alien, he locked our asses up
We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed
We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head!
I think I remember a episode where Kirk and Spock build a phaser gun from scraps, but I have no clue which episode it could be.
Well, I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me
His eyes were full of tears, he said, "Captain, can't you see?
The ship is gonna blow, do something, I beseech!"
I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach
Absolutely, no or?
And I said, Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
That's the way we do things...
Any idea anyone?
And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise
And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies
Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas
Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knees
No, for sure I have never seen this! I would remember that! Is any of that based on any "real" Star Trek stuff?
Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place
He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space
The wormhole opened up and now they come from near and far
We'll keep the booze but please send back the f—ing Jem’Hadar
That’s DS9 ok, but is there anything else to grab in there?
And what is with the Klingons? Remember, in the day
They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lamé
Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead
With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads
Ok, I get that.
Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door
When suddenly it dawned on me I've seen this show before
Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble slightly out of phase
'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space"
Loved that series as well!
We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar
So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg
Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit
But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits
Ok, that is Season 4 Voyager when 7 of 9 gets introduced.
Well then they got a new show and it's called Enterprise
And it takes place a hundred years before Kirk was alive
They say that it's a prequel or so that's what it's called
It's such a bad idea you'd swear that Lucas was involved
Lucas? What did I miss? George Lucas?
They have a Vulcan female but she's a nervous wreck
Her ass is sweet as Seven's only green so what the heck
They're in the past but Klingons have those lobsters on their heads
I'm more confused than Wesley Crusher nude in Tasha's bed
Wesley Crusher nude in Tasha's bed??? Ok, I must have missed or suppressed that completely!
Well it would seem a big wig up at Paramount
Must have felt the franchise was stale by all accounts
Cause he hired J. J. Abrams to give the thing a shove
I feared that he would mock and mangle everything I love
Well I went to the movie and there much to my shock
There were hunky models playing Kirk and Spock
Vulcan's been destroyed and the timeline has been crushed
So someone tell me why I love this film so fucking much
Ok, this one is easy, there are not that many movies...
What does God need with a starship?
Thanks for helping out! The song is on YouTube if that helps...