Recently I started watching Star Trek TNG and there is the episode "The Big Goodbye" where in the first minute Picard is shown having to learn an alien languge. The language is quite complex having "if" conditions and constraints.

Then I remembered there was a Stargate episode - I do not know whether it was SG-1, Atlantis or Universe where some guards played a card game. As far as I remember, the SG team was trapped and they told the guards that they would never win at "xy" (the name of the game).

The SG team was asked to show them the game and it was similar like the alien language.

It was like the following conversation - but I can't remember the exact words and phrases

"If you have two aces you have a Quiqash, but only if your opponent doesn't have the red queen. In this case you can only play the Quiqash if your aces are spade and heart."

Guard: "Ah yes ... I see".


Does anyone remember which SG episode this was? Or was it Star Trek TOS?

  • I think the joke with the complex card game is a conclusion to "Picard" learning the alien language.
    – kraftb
    Jul 3, 2015 at 13:14

1 Answer 1


You are looking for Fizzbin, which was made up by Kirk in the Star Trek: TOS episode A Piece of the Action (1968).

KIRK: Fizzbin. It's not too difficult. (begins dealing) Each player gets six cards, except for the player on the dealer's right, who gets seven.
KALO: On the right.
KIRK: Yes. The second card is turned up, except on Tuesdays.
KALO: On Tuesday.
KIRK: Oh, look what you got, two jacks. You got a half fizzbin already.
KALO: I need another jack.
KIRK: No, no. If you got another jack, why, you'd have a sralk.
KALO: A sralk?
KIRK: Yes. You'd be disqualified. You need a king and a deuce, except at night of course, when you'd need a queen and a four.
KALO: Except at night.

(it continues in the same vein for a while)

  • 11
    ...which was hilarious, by the way. Jul 3, 2015 at 17:36
  • 2
    Same joke game was used by George Burns and Gracie Allen, years before, though I can't find the reference right now.
    – atk
    Jul 3, 2015 at 18:06
  • @Richard: You made this a much more informative answer; I feel kind of guilty that I might be gathering upvote-rep now while you get nothing :-/ Jul 3, 2015 at 21:22
  • 1
    @O.R.Mapper - I've already hit the repcap for today so the extra votes would do nothing for me.
    – Valorum
    Jul 3, 2015 at 21:26
  • 6
    @O.R.Mapper - The fact that I'm willing to do stuff to benefit the community is one of the main reasons (I reckon) that people voted for me to become a mod. All I ask is that you "pay it forward" next time you see a newer user in need of some editing or advice...
    – Valorum
    Jul 3, 2015 at 21:27

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