Name of late 70’s or 80s B grade sci fi - aliens disguised as police

Question

I have been racking my brain and google for the name of this film for years. It’s nostalgia - my sister and I used to watch it.

My memory of it is vague - there’s a young boy who is chased by aliens disguised as humans - mostly police on bikes with white helmets. We remember they used to say the line “I’m an alien, schmalien” or similar. This all sounds whacky, but If it sparks a memory for someone who can recall the film I’d be grateful to put this search to bed and have a laugh with my sister about the film.

Answer 1

There are few details given on IMDB, but I think this could well be "Everything happens to me" (also known by the alternative title "Why did you pick on me"), a 1980 comedy film starring Bud Spencer as a small-town sheriff. He is taking care of a young boy, played by Cary Guffey, who also starred as a young boy in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". The boy, named H7-25, is actually an alien, and is being hunted by a group of alien robots, who indeed utter the phrase “You're an alien, schmalien” in the climactic fight scene towards the end of the film when Spencer beats them up single-handed.

I have encountered a review on 8,000 Movies, which confirms the points I remembered and gives some extra details:

Borrowing from Invaders From Mars (1953), evil aliens make a base on Earth where they begin controlling people that can help them take over. Unfortunately for them, the place they pick to do it is the same town where Spencer has just become sheriff. The movie starts off with the usual fight scenes, Spencer beating up lumberjacks, The Brothers Dynamite (a gang of hoods who threaten to blow everything up if they don't get protection money) and a gang of miscreants in weird cars who wear masks. Later, Spencer beats up a bunch of alien robots, who start repeating the same phrases over and over ("You're an alien-schmalien!" being one of the stranger ones).

A trailer is available here.

Answer 2

Wikipedia lists a movie The Sheriff and the Satellite Kid (1979) with Bud Spencer as sheriff Scott Hall and Cary Guffey as an alien boy, and its sequel Everything Happens to Me (1980), also starring them.

So Ron could have seen either or both of them. Or maybe a different movie entirely.

I note that those were not the only movies with extraterrestrial children on Earth.

There were also Escape to Witch Mountain (1975) and its sequel Return from witch Mountain (1978) with Ike Eisenmann and Kim Richards as the alien kids who are pursued by Earthlings. They were followed by a TV film Beyond Witch Mountain (1982) with Tracy Gold and Andy Freeman as the kids.

There was also a TV movie Escape to Witch Mountain in 1995.

And the movie Race to Witch Mountain (2009).

I don't remember robots with goofy sayings in any of the Witch Mountain productions I saw, so the film suggested by Clara Diaz Sanchez seems more likely.

But the example of the Witch Mountain films shows that there were other movies about the adventures of alien children on Earth. And I sort of have the feeling I might be forgetting some examples.

Mac and Me (1988) has a non-human alien child on on Earth pursued by Earthlings.

In Invaders from Mars (1953, 1986) an Earth boy has nightmarish trouble with invading Martians, who use mind control on some humans to make them do their bidding, so he doesn't know who to trust.

And no doubt there are other films which fit parts of the description in the original question.

Answer 3

This sounds like the 1980s scifi TV series "V", or its miniseries prequels. The Resistance children had several run-ins with the rather inept aliens-posing-as-police, including street chases while escaping from the alien checkpoints, and plenty of campy dialogue.