Semi-Spoiler since I am revealing something very funny.

I remember the lines sort of but can't find a clip, no idea of episode or season:

The computer asks Lister something to the effect, "How would you like me to create a woman, completely indistinguishable in every respect from the real thing?"

Lister is thrilled by the idea and tells Holly he would like that very much, why not do so?

And Holly says, "Because I have no idea whatsoever of how to do this; I couldn't even do the nose."

I found that particular exchange as funny as any science fiction humor I have encountered although I understand that Holly makes up a lot of stuff to tease Lister.

Does anyone know the episode or have a link to a clip?

1 Answer 1


It's from Season 1, Episode 5 "Confidence and Paranoia".

Lister is sitting in his bunk, chatting with Holly:

HOLLY: I'm at a loose end now. I don't know what to do with meself.

LISTER: Holly, why don't you just read everything all over again.

HOLLY: I was thinking it might help pass the time if I created a perfectly functioning replica of a woman, capable of independent decision-making and abstract thought and absolutely undetectable from the real thing.

LISTER: (Sitting up eagerly) Well why don't you, then?

HOLLY: Because I don't know how. I wouldn't even know how to make the nose.

  • 4
    Somewhat related, in the recent The Promised Land special, Kryten offers to make Cat into a woman, "folds and all".
    – user25730
    Commented Apr 12 at 6:37
  • 3
    In the Red Dwarf novel Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, this "indistinguishable from the real thing ... wouldn't know how to make the nose" is something Holly is thinking during the three million years when Lister is in stasis and there are no crew members for him to talk to. I didn't know he'd told Lister about it in the show! Commented Apr 12 at 16:34

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